im still alive

ive yet to blog for a long while now. my life has nearly been taken over by the demands and stresses of exams, surgical society and keeping up with my life.

for the past month, ive learned a lot. i learned that everyone, as much as i want to think otherwise, do have limitations. that includes me and when i accepted that, i attained a sense of contentment.

4th year medicine in manchester is certainly tiring and mentally challenging. the length of the year and lack of holiday have drained so many of us, especially myself.

quite recent, i fell short of all the high flying expectations that i have put on myself. i stumbled, probably one of the biggest or the biggest mistake that i have done in my entire life. i lost the self i was and the belief that i have on my own.

until now, i dont think i have quite recovered yet. in fact that experience has humbled me. it was difficult to accept and i was at the point where i dreaded to wake up, to wake up every morning to face my own failure.

i think im fortunate, despite all of that, this mistake that i have done has not cost my parents arms and legs.

and i feel fortunate that my parents are behind me n for the words of comfort from my brother.

to never give up, the reason why you fall, is to learn to pick yourself up

i believe, irregardless, everyone has at one point made a big mistake in his/her life. but the mistake shouldnt break you, but make you.

i hope to those who are facing a situation like mine, i do hope that u will bounce back too.

Adrian.

learning, im still learning

i think i finally found out what i can do to change my situation..

didnt realize it was just that simple....it is a matter of mastering that concept.

and i must learn to master this concept because it is my weakness and it always happen to me..

hhmmm, interesting......it is okay folks, im not planning to harm anyone, just something new i learn to correct my weakness..

on a side note, routine is making my life dull and way too predictable...

turning 22 - rediscovery and contention

thank you everyone for their bday wishes and texts. im really happy to have u guys as friends. my apologies for the wrongs that i have done and thank you for the times we shared as friends.

i think from 21 to 22, it was a big leap for me. im still the same person, but i have learned a lot.

im slowing rediscovering myself, understanding my shortcomings and being contented with what i have.

21 was the year i discover my passion for neurosurgery
22 is the year i discover myself

we had a very simple bday eve countdown, very very simple, just played cards and chat about. but it was great because it was with those friends whom i know that they dont need to put up a show to prove who they are - through n through. bday dinner was very simple again with the very close friends and the few other friends.

over bday eve, we had deep chats about our lives and how we look at them. jon's life always been simple. boon questions the fundamentals of philosophy and genetics. james his completeness in a good life and achievements. we are all brilliant in our rightful way.

i realize that i am an overly cocky, boastful and confident person who at times deserves to be shot down. and my weakness is that i can never see my life in a cup of fullness but the emptiness. i always want to feel being the best in whatever i do, that i cant settle for anything 2nd best. altho i fell in love with neurosurgery, it could have been neurosurgery gave me that feeling or vice versa. and then i started to wonder about diversifying into business like my uncle did. the list goes on and on and on....

i forget that i have put effort in neurosurgery and it is paying off. that i found my passion and i should focus on my passion. that there will be a never ending height to achieve for i am no greater than a fool to think otherwise. i have come this far from a very small town called nibong tebal. i am about to live in my dreams to do neurosurg. at least one of my childhood dreams. or at least i believe i have a good shot at it.

above all, i am glad to have all my friends beside me. that i know, if today i would die, i wont be alone. that my path ahead, i wont walk by myself. my parents are behind me too.

cheers buddies.....wish to share many more great years with you all ahead

ACT Lim

catching up

before chinese new year pass me by,

want to wish u guys out there,

Gong Xi Fa Chai !!

simply, Happy Chinese New Year....

take care,

Adrian

remembering the good times

when i feel like giving up in medicine, this reminds me all the reasons why i want to do it so badly.

have a good fun, and enjoy the video.

Grass is always greener on the other side

ive been stucked up in Oldham, a small district in manch.

such a depressive place, altho it is definitely a brilliant place in terms of education, plenty of teaching.

the lonely and depressive bit of a district hospital has made me to question myself do i really like medicine.

good thing, it is not just me alone who felt that, my friend placed there is starting to think so too.

i realized i came to med school to get into surgery. i did find medicine fascinating and interesting for the past 3 years. but now, things are getting mundane and infinite work for not much reward.

things was turning excellent for me, my extra effort in neurosurg was paying off, career path seemed certain and getting more assured. still passionate and love neurosurg.

but cant wait to get out of med school and this overly "safe and predictable" path in the medical ladder.

been talking to so many ppl, i believe grass is always greener on the other side. when you realize you can achieve what you want to do and things get mundane, you always wonder what is life on the other road not taken.

why didnt i just do dentistry, then orthodontics, earn easy and loads of money, rest on my laurel and retire early in like mid 30s...

i am neither a a god-complex nor rubic cube personified. i chose this path, (not what i said in my interview), because in my hospital placement i thought surgery was very interesting.

and general dentistry was alright, orthodontics was boring. but the defining moment, i believe, was when i sat in a session of physiotherapy with this kid.

he was a small boy with cerebral palsy. physically weak, couldnt even grip with his hands, slurred and droopy mouth, standing up was an ordeal.

I thought to myself, "i believe people like him need a helping hand. if not us, who else"

if only, i walked away and chose the easy life.

grass is always greener on the other side.

ACT Lim

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I quote my friend, "everyone looks forward to new year with their old habits"

I am late to wish this, nonetheless, a belated Christmas and a Happy New Year to you guys out there.

Truly, I wish everyone a year that will be exciting and interesting ahead. Forget the economy, forget all the wars....lets live our life to the best we can.

as i hold strongly to the saying, "Fortune favours the courage"

Looking back, 2009 was a full of downs, but the few ups I had were the best in my life.

Year 2009 is the defining year in my life. a year which sealed my true passion for neurosurgery. the year which i have ended my battle to convince my dad that this is the life i want. at times, i was so stressed out that i wont make it but im gradually seeing the light now.

I sincerely wish that everyone of you out there, if you ever struggle, to keep fighting and persist in pursuing your dreams.

One day, you will see your rewards. To some people, that reward maybe quick, to others, it will take a long while. Every effort you make, you will learn, one way or another. you will achieve it at the end.

best wishes,

ACT Lim

Facebook Scammed

I got a call this afternoon, my sister was told by a friend that I was robbed in London while i was in Manchester.

After finding out what happened, apparently my facebook account was scammed/hacked by someone. My email ownership was changed to one random email and my password was changed.

The scam was so believable coz the hacker used my account to chat with my other friends asking for money to be sent to a bank. 2 of my friends tried to contact me, one through my sis, the other thru josh.

Within 2 hours, i changed everything and even shut down my facebook account.

I didnt have a choice, i either risk cheating my friends inadvertently or my other details get hacked.

So, seems like im going to starve and desert myself from facebook...till God knows. i wonder if my friend list and pictures are still up there. will be a pity to lose everything

donno if i can reactivate it or not in the first place. well, look at the bright side, i wont be wasting time on facebook.

guys and gals be careful

the day i have been waiting for

today, what i had was not that special, simple but interesting things, looking at MR, CT scans of the brain. subdural, SAH, PCA infarction and so forth.

but it was the day i have been waiting for.

finally, my dad is happy for me to do neurosurgery. Not just that, he has encouraged me to do Mres and the path I have chosen thus far.

i have not been talking to my dad for the past 2 months. i was dreading this conversation. but it turned out my father has opened up and could now see the potential and my true passion for neurosurgery.

it feels weird, the thought of your father's approval yet nothing different which occured changed a lot. i felt this sudden relieve and elevation.

i dont quite believe in destiny or luck at times, but i guess probably this is my destiny.

my cousin had a rather rare traumatic event lately, haemorrhagic stroke from an arterio-venous malformation (AVM) which required neurosurgical intervention, neuroradiological treatment and stroke rehab. It wasnt miraculously because there was no need of any divine intervention. she recovered with minimal neurological deficit besides confusion.

that unusual incident opened up my dad's tunnel vision. he could see the importance and the rarity of neurosurgeons. how vital is even a neuroradiologist and stroke rehab.

that pretty much sums up my life now. deep down, i always felt this was the specialty meant for me. the one and only specialty i fell in love with.

and now that im following the 2 success stories of neurosurgical trainees that i know, i am comfortable and certain neurosurgery is what i will end up doing one day.

Project Option is sorted out with my consultant, a mentor to me. Mres is also sorted out with a group i have been aiming for to the extent that i had to go down London to meet this Prof from Manchester. SSC seems exciting and interesting, well, in the morning during ward rounds.

i felt so lonely today when i woke up this morning, but now i can rest assured my dad is behind me.

A.C.T. Lim

WOOOHOOOO !!!!

osce is finished for this semester....

donno if i did it right or wrong, some stations were so ambigous. i was confident with a few stations but people attempted differently. i really hope i didnt bust it up big time.

cant be bothered now, whatever it is........

TIME TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN.....

wooo hoooo.....ha aha..haaa....eee ahhh ahhahahhhahaha